Because spiritual maturity isn’t about pretending you’ve arrived. It’s about continuing to follow the One who is changing you.
Can we have a little girl talk?
Like, the kind where we pull up a chair, pour another cup of coffee, and talk about the things we don’t always say out loud?
Can we normalize being a woman who genuinely loves Jesus AND is still growing?
A woman who loves the Word of God but sometimes struggles to open her Bible consistently.
A woman who believes in the power of prayer but occasionally finds herself worrying before she remembers to pray.
A woman who knows she should respond with grace but sometimes lets her emotions get the best of her.
A woman who trusts God’s promises but still has moments when fear seems louder than faith.
A woman who wants to be more like Jesus but realizes, sometimes before she’s even finished her morning coffee, just how much growing she still has to do.
Anybody else?
Because somewhere along the way, I think we’ve allowed ourselves to believe that being a godly woman means having it all together.
And friend, that simply isn’t true.
The Pressure to Be the Woman Who Has It All Together
Have you ever looked at another woman and thought, I wish I had her relationship with the Lord?
She seems so disciplined.
She always has something encouraging to say.
Her Bible is highlighted, her prayer journal is full, and somehow she seems to have a Scripture ready for every situation.
Meanwhile, you’re over here trying to remember whether you actually finished your Bible reading this morning or just got distracted halfway through.
And before you know it, comparison starts whispering:
You should be further along by now.
You should know more Scripture.
You shouldn’t still struggle with that.
If you really loved Jesus, wouldn’t this be easier?
But here’s what I want us to remember:
Another woman’s spiritual growth is not the measuring stick for your relationship with Jesus.
We’re not called to compete with one another.
We’re called to follow Christ.
And the wonderful thing about following Jesus is that He doesn’t ask us to pretend we’re already everything He’s working to make us.
He calls us to keep following.
Even Paul Knew He Hadn’t Arrived
One of my favorite reminders comes from the apostle Paul.
Here’s a man who had experienced the transforming power of Jesus Christ, preached the gospel, endured incredible suffering for the Lord, and wrote letters that would become part of the New Testament.
And yet, listen to what he said:
“Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” — Philippians 3:13 KJV
Paul didn’t claim to have arrived.
He recognized that there was still a race to run, still a Savior to pursue, and still a purpose before him.
Now, that doesn’t mean Paul was comfortable remaining spiritually stagnant.
Quite the opposite.
He was pressing forward.
And I think that’s where some of us need to change our perspective.
There’s a difference between being content to stay where you are spiritually and being patient with the process of growing in Christ.
God’s grace is not permission to ignore sin or neglect our relationship with Him.
But it is a beautiful reminder that our growth doesn’t happen because we’re capable of making ourselves perfect.
We need Him.
Every single day.
You Can Love Jesus and Still Have Hard Days
Let’s talk about something else.
Sometimes we mistakenly believe that spiritual maturity means we won’t struggle emotionally.
That if we have enough faith, we won’t experience discouragement.
That if we’re truly trusting God, we won’t feel anxious about the unknown.
That if we’re walking closely with the Lord, difficult circumstances won’t shake us.
But the Bible gives us a much more honest picture of life.
David cried out to God in distress.
Elijah experienced deep discouragement and exhaustion.
Martha was overwhelmed with serving.
Peter struggled with fear and denied knowing Jesus.
These were real people with real emotions, real weaknesses, and a very real need for God.
Their stories aren’t included in Scripture so we can excuse every poor decision or unhealthy response.
They’re there, in part, to show us what happens when imperfect people encounter a faithful God.
Having a difficult day doesn’t mean you don’t love Jesus.
But how we respond to those difficult days matters.
When we’re overwhelmed, do we eventually turn to Him?
When our emotions get the best of us, are we willing to acknowledge where we were wrong?
When we fall short, do we repent and return to the truth of His Word?
That’s part of growing.
Not pretending we never struggle.
But learning to respond differently because Christ is changing us.
Stop Confusing Spiritual Growth With Spiritual Performance
Oh, friend. This one is important.
It’s possible to become so focused on looking like a spiritually mature woman that we forget the importance of actually becoming one.
We can post encouraging Scriptures while neglecting our own time in the Word.
We can attend every Bible study while avoiding the difficult truths God is revealing about our hearts.
We can know all the right Christian phrases while struggling to extend kindness to the people closest to us.
And we can become so busy doing things for God that we forget to spend time with Him.
Jesus said:
“If ye love me, keep my commandments.” — John 14:15 KJV
Our love for Jesus should produce obedience.
Not just activity.
Not just appearances.
Not just an impressive Christian routine.
Real, everyday obedience.
Sometimes spiritual growth looks like choosing not to participate in gossip.
Sometimes it looks like apologizing to your husband.
Sometimes it looks like putting your phone down and being present with your children.
Sometimes it looks like forgiving someone who hurt you.
Sometimes it looks like opening your Bible when you don’t particularly feel like it.
And sometimes it looks like quietly confessing, Lord, I didn’t handle that well. Please forgive me and help me respond differently next time.
Those moments may never make it onto social media.
But they matter.
Because God isn’t simply interested in how spiritual our lives appear. He is concerned with who we are becoming.
Growth Doesn’t Always Look Dramatic
We love a good before-and-after story, don’t we?
The dramatic testimony.
The life-changing moment.
The incredible breakthrough.
And praise God for those moments!
But so much of our spiritual growth happens in the ordinary.
The quiet decisions.
The repeated surrender.
The small acts of obedience.
The prayers whispered while folding laundry.
The Scripture we return to again and again.
The conversations where we choose gentleness instead of defensiveness.
The moments when we recognize an old pattern and, by God’s grace, choose a different response.
Sometimes you won’t notice how much you’ve grown until you face something that once would have completely undone you.
And suddenly, you realize you’re responding differently.
You’re praying sooner.
You’re speaking more carefully.
You’re trusting more deeply.
You’re quicker to repent.
You’re learning to recognize God’s truth above your emotions.
That’s growth, too.
Philippians 1:6 reminds us:
“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” — KJV
What a beautiful promise.
The Lord is faithful to complete the work He has begun.
Our responsibility isn’t to manufacture spiritual maturity through sheer determination.
It’s to faithfully respond to His Word, walk in obedience, and depend upon His grace.
But Friend, Let’s Not Use Grace as an Excuse to Stay the Same
I want to be careful here, because there’s another side to this conversation.
Yes, we need to give ourselves grace as we grow.
Yes, we need to stop comparing our spiritual journeys.
And yes, we need to remember that none of us has arrived.
But we also need to be willing to ask ourselves some honest questions.
Am I actually growing?
Am I becoming more patient?
Am I more willing to forgive?
Am I spending time in God’s Word?
Am I allowing Scripture to correct me, or am I only looking for verses that make me feel better?
Am I becoming more like Christ in the way I speak, think, serve, and love?
Peter wrote:
“But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.” — 2 Peter 3:18 KJV
Notice that word: grow.
Not pretend.
Not perform.
Not compare.
Grow.
And growth requires intentionality.
We don’t become spiritually mature simply because we’ve been Christians for a long time.
Time alone doesn’t produce maturity.
We must be women who are willing to learn, listen, repent, obey, and continually return to the Word of God.
What If We Started Celebrating Progress Instead of Perfection?
What if instead of feeling ashamed that we’re still learning, we thanked God that He’s still teaching us?
What if instead of comparing our chapter three to someone else’s chapter twenty, we simply focused on being faithful with what God has placed before us?
What if we became women who could honestly say:
I’m still working on my attitude.
I’m learning to trust God with my children.
I’m trying to become more consistent in prayer.
I’m learning how to respond with grace instead of reacting emotionally.
I’m not where I want to be spiritually, but I am intentionally pursuing the Lord.
Wouldn’t that kind of honesty create room for genuine encouragement and discipleship?
I believe it would.
Because we don’t need another community where women feel pressure to impress one another.
We need women who will point one another back to Jesus.
Women who will speak truth in love.
Women who will encourage one another toward obedience.
Women who can celebrate growth while still recognizing that we all desperately need the grace of God.
Three Things You Can Do This Week
If you’ve been feeling discouraged about your spiritual growth, I want to encourage you to do three simple things.
1. Stop comparing and start examining.
Instead of asking how you measure up to another woman, ask the Lord to reveal what He wants to change in your own heart.
Psalm 139:23–24 is a wonderful place to begin.
2. Choose one area of intentional growth.
Don’t overwhelm yourself with a list of twenty things you need to fix.
Identify one area where you need to become more obedient to God’s Word.
Maybe it’s your prayer life.
Maybe it’s your response to frustration.
Maybe it’s how you manage your time.
Find Scripture that speaks to that area, study it in context, and begin applying it.
3. Invite another godly woman to walk alongside you.
Not someone who will simply tell you what you want to hear.
Someone who will encourage you, pray with you, speak biblical truth, and lovingly challenge you to keep growing.
We weren’t meant to live the Christian life in isolation.
A Final Reminder, Friend
You can be a woman who loves Jesus deeply and still has growing to do.
You can be passionate about Scripture and still need greater discipline.
You can be strong in your faith and still have moments when you need encouragement.
You can be a leader, a mother, a wife, a ministry volunteer, or the woman everyone seems to look to for advice—and still need someone to pour into you.
You don’t have to pretend you’ve arrived.
But you also don’t have to remain where you are.
Keep opening your Bible.
Keep bringing your burdens to the Lord.
Keep repenting when you fall short.
Keep choosing obedience.
Keep growing in grace.
Because the goal was never to become the woman who appears to have it all together.
The goal is to become a woman who looks more and more like Jesus.
And friend, that’s a lifelong journey worth pursuing.
With love,
Living Beyond Ministries
Let’s Have Some Girl Talk 🤍
What’s one area of your walk with the Lord where you’re intentionally trying to grow right now?
Maybe it’s prayer, patience, consistency in Scripture, forgiveness, or learning to trust Him more deeply.
We’d love to hear from you in the comments.
Because you’re not the only one who’s still growing.
And there’s room for all of us to grow together.
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